While a certain degree of stress in the workplace may be unavoidable, reactions to it can mark the difference between a workforce that struggles in silence and one that gets the support it needs.
For many men, that silence is the whole story. They don’t reach out, don’t use the EAP Programs their employer provides, and don’t tell their manager anything is wrong. Somewhere along the way they absorbed a clear message: handling stress yourself is what’s expected.
That message has a name in the research literature: masculine role norms. These are the socialized expectations around what it means to be a man at work, and they run deeper than most organizations realize. They shape how men interpret stress, how they respond to it, and critically, whether they ever ask for help.
Masculine role norms aren’t personal failings. They’re the invisible rules of the environment, reinforced daily by what leadership models, what peers tolerate, and what the culture rewards.
For HR leaders, the consequences are concrete. Stress that goes unaddressed becomes burnout. Burnout becomes absenteeism, turnover, and in serious cases, crisis.
Closing that gap is what this article is about.
Work is central to how many men define themselves. It provides income, structure, and purpose, and in most workplaces, a clear set of expectations about what a capable professional looks like. That last part is where things get complicated.
Research published in the American Journal of Men’s Health examined the accounts of men employed in male-dominated occupations and found consistent evidence of a phenomenon the authors call masculine role norms: the socialized rules governing how men are expected to think, feel, and behave at work.
The study identifies three distinct mechanisms:
Together, these norms create a workplace environment where the costs of admitting struggle feel higher than the costs of quietly absorbing it.
That research found that participants linked high job demands directly to a sense of masculine identity, treating the ability to withstand pressure as evidence of competence rather than as a warning sign. Seeking support, by contrast, carried the implicit risk of being seen as someone who couldn’t handle the job.
Men who don’t seek help don’t model help-seeking for other men. Managers who push through don’t give their teams permission to do otherwise. Over time, the norm becomes the culture, and the culture becomes the baseline HR professionals are working against.
Workplace stress doesn’t always announce itself clearly. For many men, it may not look like sadness or any of the ways mental health struggles are typically depicted. It may instead look like irritability, short fuses with colleagues, or withdrawal from interactions that used to come naturally.
Research published by the International Foundation of Employee Benefit Plans notes that irritability and anger are frequently manifestations of underlying depression or anxiety in men, but are more likely to be diagnosed as behavioral issues than recognized as mental health signals.
When men see other men talking openly about mental health, or using support resources without consequence to their standing, their own willingness to engage increases. When no one around them acknowledges struggle, the silence becomes its own permission structure.
One safety manager at a construction company, reflecting on a mental health presentation delivered by Ulliance, captured it plainly: “I had several interactions throughout and after your presentation with people who were willing to share personal experiences they had as it relates to suicide, some even within the past few weeks. As you mentioned in your presentation, it’s quite cliché to talk about mental health in the construction industry but I truly believe conversations like the one you had with our teams can help bridge the gap and save lives.”
HR leaders don’t need to overhaul culture overnight. They need to create enough visible openings that men begin to believe using support is something their workplace actually sanctions.
Because men’s stress so often presents through behavioral changes rather than explicit disclosures, the question for managers isn’t “has anyone said they’re struggling?” It’s “what changes in performance or conduct might be telling us something?”
Warning signs include:
The goal is to notice, create an opening, and connect the employee to the right resources without making the conversation feel like a performance review.
The scale of workplace burnout makes the underutilization of EAP Programs more than a communication problem. SHRM’s Employee Mental Health in 2024 Research Series found that 44% of U.S. employees feel burned out at work and 51% feel used up at the end of the workday.
Yet for male employees, the gap between need and EAP utilization remains striking, a pattern that requires looking at how these programs are positioned and whether that positioning speaks to the men who most need them.
Research published in the International Journal of Mental Health Systems examined how men from blue- and white-collar industries perceived EAP services. The study found that barriers to EAP use were more deeply entrenched than previously estimated. Participants identified lack of knowledge about what EAP services involve, concerns about confidentiality, and fear of stigma and career jeopardy as significant obstacles.
The implication is direct: the problem isn’t that men are simply resistant to support. It’s that communications about EAP services often fail to address the specific concerns that keep men from engaging.
The same research found that men were more likely to engage when EAP had a visible, proactive presence in the workplace rather than appearing only in benefits documentation. Familiarity lowers the barrier considerably.
For HR leaders, the path forward involves structural changes to how EAP Programs are positioned and communicated, and a closer look at the role managers play in whether support ever reaches the people who need it.
The most common mistake organizations make is treating EAP communication as a one-time event: onboarding, the benefits guide, a poster in the break room. Effective strategies are ongoing, use concrete scenario-based language describing what EAP actually does, and frame it as a resource for managing everyday pressures rather than a last resort for crises.
Making confidentiality explicit and specific matters too: many men are uncertain not about whether EAP is theoretically confidential, but about what that means in practice and whether their employer can access usage data.
Direct supervisors are often the first to notice a shift in an employee’s demeanor or performance, and a manager who simply checks in, acknowledges pressure, or mentions the EAP does more to lower the barrier than most formal wellness programs.
What managers need is training with specific language for opening a conversation without overstepping, and a clear understanding of what they’re authorized to say and do. Most importantly, their own behavior sets the norm; a manager who is visibly willing to acknowledge a demanding period gives the men on their team implicit permission to do the same.
Psychological safety accumulates through consistent signals, including how leaders respond when someone discloses struggle and whether stated values around wellbeing are reflected in how workload and performance are actually managed.
Building that culture means auditing the norms themselves. Are managers rewarded for driving output at the expense of their team’s well-being? Is the language around performance one that leaves room for struggle, or one that treats any admission of difficulty as a weakness to be managed away?
The investments that close the gap for male employees tend to strengthen the environment for everyone. Managers trained to notice behavioral changes become better leaders across the board, and EAP Programs communicated clearly and stripped of clinical stigma see higher utilization across every demographic.
Supporting men’s mental health is part of building a workplace that actually functions the way most organizations say they want it to.
Ulliance offers a comprehensive Employee Assistance Program designed to meet employees where they are, including those who have never considered reaching out before. Services include confidential face-to-face counseling, life coaching, and management consultation, as well as crisis response support for organizations navigating difficult events.
For HR leaders looking to improve EAP engagement among male employees, Ulliance’s approach addresses several of the barriers the research identifies directly. Services are available before a situation reaches crisis level, framed around practical support and skill-building as much as clinical intervention, and structured to give employees and managers alike a clear, trusted path forward.
What are masculine role norms, and how do they affect men’s mental health at work?
Masculine role norms are the socialized expectations about how men are supposed to think, feel, and behave professionally. They operate through internal beliefs, peer behavior, and leadership modeling, creating an environment where admitting struggle feels professionally risky. Research published in the American Journal of Men’s Health found that these norms directly suppress help-seeking behavior even when support is readily available.
Why do men underutilize EAP Programs compared to women?
According to data cited by the International Foundation of Employee Benefit Plans, approximately 60 to 70% of EAP users are women and only 30 to 40% are men. The gap reflects stigma, uncertainty about what EAP services involve, concerns about confidentiality, and the perception that using an EAP signals weakness or career vulnerability.
How can HR leaders encourage male employees to use EAP services?
HR leaders can increase male EAP engagement by:
What does workplace stress look like in male employees?
Men under significant stress may not present with the symptoms most commonly associated with mental health struggles. Signs often include increased irritability, conflict with colleagues, withdrawal from team interactions, declining performance, and unexplained absenteeism.
While these symptoms are frequently manifestations of underlying male depression or anxiety, they are more likely to be misread as conduct issues than recognized as mental health signals.
What is psychological safety, and why does it matter for men’s mental health at work?
Psychological safety is the belief that an employee can acknowledge difficulty or ask for help without fear of professional consequence. For male employees operating in cultures where admitting struggle carries real social and professional risk, it is the foundation that determines whether any mental health initiative actually reaches them. Organizations that build it through consistent leadership behavior and protective policies create conditions where EAP utilization increases and problems surface before they become crises.
When you partner with Ulliance, our Life Advisor Consultants are always just a phone call away to teach ways to enhance your work/life balance and increase your happiness. The Ulliance Life Advisor Employee Assistance Program can help employees and employers come closer to a state of total well-being.
Investing in the right EAP or Wellness Program to support your employees will help them and help you. Visit https://ulliance.com/ or call 866-648-8326.
The Ulliance Employee Assistance Program can address the
following issues:
• Stress about work or job performance
• Crisis in the workplace
• Conflict resolution at work or in one’s personal life
• Marital or relationship problems
• Child or elder care concerns
• Financial worries
• Mental health problems
• Alcohol/substance abuse
• Grief
• Interpersonal conflicts
• AND MORE!
References:
Exploring Men’s Use of Mental Health Support Offered by an Australian Employee Assistance Program (EAP): Perspectives from a Focus-Group Study with Males Working in Blue- and White-Collar Industries; International Journal of Mental Health Systems; Matthews, Gerald, Jessup
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8334339/
Here’s How Bad Burnout Has Become at Work; SHRM; SHRM Editorial
https://www.shrm.org/topics-tools/news/inclusion-diversity/burnout-shrm-research-2024
Men’s Work-Related Stress and Mental Health: Illustrating the Workings of Masculine Role Norms; American Journal of Men’s Health; Boettcher, Mitchell, Lashewicz, et al.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6438430/
Mental Illness (Statistics); National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/mental-illness
Why Don’t Men Use EAPs?; International Foundation of Employee Benefit Plans; Tim Hennessy
https://blog.ifebp.org/why-dont-men-use-eaps/