Many people can recall a moment at work when someone treated them with casual disrespect. A colleague talked over them in a meeting, or a manager answered everyone’s questions except theirs. Researchers call this kind of behavior workplace incivility, a form of everyday rudeness where the intent to harm is often unclear.
Even though each individual instance can seem minor, the effects add up. In SHRM’s Civility Index survey from mid-2025, more than half (53%) of workers who had witnessed or experienced incivility at work in the past month said it negatively affected their mental health.
Because these moments are easy to dismiss, they often go unaddressed. Occupational health researchers have observed that overt mistreatment such as bullying is easier to identify and more likely to be addressed, while incivility’s frequency and low visibility allow its effects to build over time. HR often won’t hear about it through a formal complaint, if at all.
Clear expectations and managers prepared to step in can help keep small slights from becoming routine, while an employee assistance program gives people a confidential place to work through the strain those moments leave behind.
In occupational health research, workplace incivility is defined as low-intensity behavior that violates norms of mutual respect, with ambiguous intent to harm the target. It is the mildest form of workplace mistreatment, and it involves no physical violence or intimidation. The behavior may reflect indifference or inattention rather than a deliberate attempt to hurt someone.
Incivility: Low-intensity rudeness or disrespect with unclear intent, such as ignoring a coworker or speaking to them dismissively.
Bullying: Hostile behavior directed at someone repeatedly over an extended period.
Harassment: Unwelcome conduct based on a legally protected characteristic, such as race, sex, religion, disability, or age.
These categories don’t always separate cleanly, since bullying and harassment can include uncivil behavior. HR and managers can address disrespect early while watching for conduct that calls for a formal investigation or legal review.
The effects can also extend to how work gets done. A one-year study of hospital system employees found that coworker incivility and employees’ views of how well work processes functioned predicted each other over time. The findings suggest the two problems can reinforce each other.
Because incivility is often subtle, it helps to know what it looks like in practice. Common examples include:
Patterns are the main thing to watch for, such as a team where curt exchanges have become routine. Repeated behavior aimed at the same person also deserves a closer look, since it may point toward bullying rather than incivility.
Employees respond to workplace incivility in several ways to protect their mental health. In SHRM’s mid-2025 Civility Index survey, the steps workers most often took included setting work/life boundaries, talking with people outside of work, deep breathing, and taking regular breaks.
While these responses may help employees cope, they leave the behavior itself unaddressed.
The World Health Organization describes burnout as a syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed, with energy depletion or exhaustion as one of its three dimensions. Workplace incivility has been linked to that exhaustion.
A Wayne State University study published in the journal Work & Stress also found that coworker incivility predicted higher work-related exhaustion a year later, even after accounting for bullying. The researchers argue that even though incivility is a milder form of mistreatment, its effects can be as serious and long-lasting as those of bullying.
That places chronic incivility among the workplace stressors HR should consider when it looks for the sources of burnout.
Preventing workplace incivility starts with making respect an explicit expectation and preparing managers to act when it slips. While this may seem obvious, there’s evidence that employers still have some work to do on the matter.
In January 2025, Gallup reported that only 37% of U.S. employees strongly agreed they were treated with respect at work. Managers play a large part in closing that gap. In SHRM’s Civility Index, workers who received little support from their manager in moving past incidents of incivility were nearly 48% more likely to look for another job than those who received high support.
When uncivil behavior becomes a habit, a team can start to feel toxic even if no single incident would justify discipline. HR can address that pattern through a few consistent practices:
Hold regular one-on-one conversations. Frequent check-ins, ideally weekly, can help managers spot friction between team members before it settles into a pattern. Asking how the team is working together gives employees an easy opening to raise a concern.
Each of these practices builds respect into how a team operates from day to day, which helps make incivility easier to spot and correct.
Harvard researcher Amy Edmondson defines psychological safety as a team’s shared belief “that the team is safe for interpersonal risk taking.” In practice, that means employees can ask questions, admit mistakes, or raise concerns without expecting to be embarrassed or punished.
Respectful communication is one condition that can support that belief. When managers respond to questions without dismissiveness and treat mistakes as something to learn from, employees may feel safer raising concerns, including concerns about how a colleague has treated them. Managers can support that openness by taking concerns seriously and explaining how they will follow up.
An employee assistance program (EAP) is a confidential workplace benefit, free to employees, that helps them work through personal and work-related concerns. According to the U.S. Office of Personnel Management, EAP services such as assessments, counseling, and referrals cover concerns that include office conflicts, which makes an EAP a practical resource for employees affected by incivility.
Counseling gives employees a place to talk through an uncivil encounter and decide how they want to respond. For example, an employee who gets talked over in meetings might use counseling to work through how it’s affecting them and plan whether to raise it with the colleague or with HR. That support is available to employees who witnessed incivility as well as those on the receiving end.
Confidentiality gives employees room to speak openly. Information shared with an EAP stays confidential unless the employee gives written permission or disclosure is required by law. That separation is especially useful when the source of the incivility is the employee’s own manager, since raising it through the usual reporting line may not feel safe.
An EAP can also support managers before a situation escalates. Management consultation is one of the services EAPs offer, including guidance on addressing conflict and positive communication techniques. A manager who has noticed dismissive exchanges on a team can get advice on how to approach the conversation before having it.
The Ulliance Life Advisor Resolution EAP Model® is designed to resolve and manage workplace conflicts, personal concerns and life challenges, which puts workplace incivility within its scope.
Employees affected by incivility can work with a counselor confidentially, whether the issue is a single difficult encounter or ongoing tension on a team. Ulliance also supports the people responsible for responding. Its manager consultations and workplace performance support give leaders guidance when uncivil behavior starts to affect how a team works.
"Many have expressed how the confidential and accessible support offered by Ulliance has helped them navigate both personal and work-related stressors.”
~ Union Health and Safety Manager
Creating a positive workplace culture that supports well-being also depends on what teams learn together. The Ulliance Human Effectiveness Training can be built to address workplace conflict or reinforce a respectful workplace culture, with topics that include communication and navigating conflict.
Before incivility becomes a larger problem, HR can check that employees know they can contact the EAP directly and that managers know how to request a consultation.
When you partner with Ulliance, our Life Advisor Consultants are always just a phone call away to teach ways to enhance your work/life balance and increase your happiness. The Ulliance Life Advisor Employee Assistance Program can help employees and employers come closer to a state of total well-being.
Investing in the right EAP or Wellness Program to support your employees will help them and help you. Visit https://ulliance.com/ or call 866-648-8326.
The Ulliance Employee Assistance Program can address the
following issues:
• Stress about work or job performance
• Crisis in the workplace
• Conflict resolution at work or in one’s personal life
• Marital or relationship problems
• Child or elder care concerns
• Financial worries
• Mental health problems
• Alcohol/substance abuse
• Grief
• Interpersonal conflicts
• AND MORE!
References:
Incivility Takes a Hit on Worker Mental Health, SHRM Data Finds; SHRM; Kathryn Mayer
https://www.shrm.org/topics-tools/news/employee-relations/incivility-taking-a-hit-on-worker-mental-health
Psychological Safety and Learning Behavior in Work Teams; Administrative Science Quarterly; Amy Edmondson
https://doi.org/10.2307/2666999
Respect at Work Returns to a Record Low; Gallup; Ryan Pendell
https://www.gallup.com/workplace/655040/respect-work-returns-record-low.aspx
Testing the Reciprocal Associations Among Co-worker Incivility, Organisational Inefficiency, and Work-related Exhaustion: A One-year, Cross-lagged Study; Work & Stress; Sara Viotti, Lynnette Essenmacher, Lydia E. Hamblin, Judith E. Arnetz
https://stacks.cdc.gov/view/cdc/59652/cdc_59652_DS1.pdf